10 years. A decade together. For our 10-year anniversary, I wrote Brandon an anniversary letter, a letter of memories, and the top 11 lessons I’ve learned through our decade married together.
A Decade Together
1 – LAUGHTER. You’ve gotta laugh together. Laugh when it’s happy, laugh through the bad times, laugh when it sucks and it seems like there is nothing to laugh about, laugh when you’re angry. Laugh through the poor, when you have no money to do anything, just laugh.
2 – DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Like those beard hairs you leave in the sink, or the ‘get-ready-stuff’ all over the counter that I just can’t seem to get a handle on. It’s like Pete the Cat says, “It’s all good.” or as you say, “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”
3 – THERE ARE NO “HIS” or “HER” JOBS. Who says men can’t do the dishes or that women can’t change the lightbulbs. The best thing I ever watched was a video on IG of a friend who decided it was finally time to change the battery in her doorbell and not wait for her husband to find the time. And while I agree, it’s easier for me to be in charge of some things while I’m home, and it’s easier for you to be the provider and bacon bringer, there are some days when it’s just gotta be both of us.
4 – HE IS NOT THE BABYSITTER & NEITHER IS SHE. Stop saying you got your husband to babysit. They’re his little ones too. And if he’s a good daddy {ps, you’re the best}, he loves them. Let him go out with the guys. And you need to get out with the girls. You each take one for the team, and he is not ‘the babysitter’ when it’s his turn to stay home. It’s simply that, his turn.
5 – GET UP, GET READY, GET OUT. Sweats and buns are great, just don’t do it every day. He fell in love with you & yes, he loves you for you, but he also wants to see you being your best, like you did when you were dating {the years will change things} you’ll both get older, you’ll both gain & lose a few pounds, maybe get a gray hair or two. But those little things you used to do, lipgloss and hair curled, will not only help you feel better about yourself, but keep that spark going.
6 – COMPROMISE & PICK YOUR BATTLES. sometimes you’re going to take the selfish and it will be about or for you, and sometimes he is going to take the selfish and it’s going to be about or for him. Don’t nitpick what doesn’t need to be picked. Let things go.
7 – HIS DREAMS. HER DREAMS. OUR DREAMS. He’s got his dreams. You’ve got your dreams, and you’ve got your dreams together. Find a way to achieve them all. Sacrifice is inevitable. And sometimes you have to put some aside for the moment, but you’ll come back to them or find a way to get creative.
8 – GOSSIPING ISN’T GOSSIP. anything you tell each other about anything doesn’t count as gossip – vent. You need an out, an ally, a partner in crime. Plus usually you can talk each other out of doing or saying something stupid while venting & listening 😉
9 – ALL SECRETS ARE NOT GOOD. I’m not talking the personal candy stashes – those are fine ;), but unless it’s a secret drawer of “the good stuff” that you share together – spill it. If there is anything that you seem to be “hiding”, “skirting around” or not showing each other, no good will ever come of it. This includes feelings as well.
10 – COMMUNICATE. He will NEVER do that romantic thing if you don’t tell him you want him to. You’re not a mind reader and neither is he. Learn each other’s love language, personality types, horoscopes – whatever you’re into and tell them. Communication is probably the biggest thing that keeps us happy.
11 – NOT GOING TO BED MAD THING – IT’S BULL – Yep, not a marriage counselor, but for real. It’s okay to go to bed mad at each other. because let me tell you this, the last thing I want to do right after {or during} an argument is snuggle in close and get cozy – give me my space. give him his. It will all cool off and you can come back to the challenge when you’re both rested and ready to address it with a sound and clear mind. Just make sure you DO come back to it when you’re ready.
An Anniversary Letter To My Husband
10 years, babe – that’s a decade.
This is probably the hardest, yet easiest thing – an anniversary letter – I’ll ever write. Hard – because “wording”. How do you write about something or someone so special and make sure to get it “just right”? Easy – because man, it’s been amazing. So I’ll just keep it simple. Here are some of my favorite memories we’ve had together.
But honestly, the past ten years, we’ve crushed it. I can say with two fist pumps, a hitch kick, and a major kitchen dance, INCLUDING the shimmy! We have FREAKING CRUSHED IT. {yes we’ve still got a long ways to go, but that’s okay – we’re not perfect, but we’ll continue work on it}
We make a great team, you still help me through my “well, I should’ve said this” self-arguments, 3+ months after the initial fact… while I still re-grammarize your emails and messages to important people.
It’s been hard. It’s been amazing, and it really has been a one-of-a-kind, fairytale, ferris-wheel rides that you see in movies.
We’ve been poor, still traveled, bought and sold cars {ahem, sorry that 10 years later, you’re still driving the Hearse, babe}, – aka my 1999 high school Toyota. But “pound it” on never having a car payment and buying 2 with cash, while in school…. I think that’s something we can definitely be proud of. And someday we will get you that dream car, truck, jeep, yacht. I’m putting my finger down on the private plane/copter though.
We’ve worked more jobs that I can count on both hands and feet, started and failed many things, but in the end, there’s no one I’d rather be going through it all with.
Favorite moments of the decade – well I’m still finding pictures of them all in the abyss of my crazy obsession with photos and videos… but here are a few of the big ones. Brandon, I really, really love you. I’m glad we get to play this game of life together.
From High School Sweethearts till Now
First Anniversary
2010 – got married, honeymooned to Disneyland, CA. Had a baby {little miss Tylee Anne}. Rode in Lotoja Bike Race. Rocked the school shift during the day + the work shift during the night. Totally don’t miss having dinners in the car – whoosh glad that’s over. But also never want to forget it!
2011 – Sealed forever as a family. Celebrated our 1st Anniversary with a stay at Little America. Sold Alarm Systems in Cali. Hated it and ditched it early. Moved into Hanbury Manor and got back in the grind of school + work.
2nd Anniversary
2012 – Earned a car with Mary Kay. Moved to California for pest control {liked it a little bit better than alarms}, again back to school.
3rd Anniversary
2013 – Almost moved to Colorado – psych – moved to MN to sell garbage contracts – earned a cruise, got preggers with baby two.
2014 – Had our itty bitty Camden baby a month early. He turned out not to be so itty bitty. Moved to Cali again for pest.
2015 – Graduated from USU moved to Cali again to sell pest control {for the last time – eek!}
2016 – Lots of time sick. Got tonsils snipped + then the wisdom teeth. {But no boob job 🙁 – if you know you know, ha ha ha}. Moved to Arizona, started Dental School. Started working for Senegence, got pregnant with baby 3 – no gender reveal!
2017 – “It’s a girl!”, Dental School year 2, started our own official business
2018 – Made it through the “7-year-itch”, Dental School year 3
2019 – Graduated. Said goodbye to our AZ “family”. Moved to ID, started residency, got pregnant, moonlight job. shoebox house where we get a free “high” every once in a while. Major eye roll, and lots of disgust towards this. But I’ll spare you the rant – “shut the bathroom door!!!”
2020 – 10th Anniversary {Little America} Pregnant – Ready to take on this new decade together…
XO – I hope you enjoyed this anniversary letter. It brought back all the feels.
Along with an anniversary letter, we celebrated our 10th year anniversary by going on a short couple’s getaway.